There are people who know their mission here on Earth, and those who don’t.
There are those who feel led by some inner voice, intuition, God, higher knowing, angels—call it what you will. And others who are just trying to make it day to day, between handling financial concerns, family, partners, dating, health issues, etc.
There are those trying to deal with trauma and simply get through the constant daily triggers, as the nervous system rushes in at full intensity. Just handling life and being human can already be the greatest challenge of all.
And then there’s the effort to get away from the noise—the social media, the addiction to doom-scrolling the news, the focus on negativity—while attempting to manage it all through yoga classes and a therapist to reach some sense of calm.
I get it. Being human is sometimes the hardest job of all.
Getting through a single day with a boss, a job, a kid, or a partner who seems to push every button under your bulletproof (not) jacket.
Being human is not for the faint of heart.
There has to be something to hold onto, especially when it feels like society and our environment don’t give us much hope.
What has held me and been my lighthouse all these years is that inkling that something is guiding me.
I admit, I didn’t want to come here.
I got to have the experience of reliving being in the womb as an adult and I saw that I didn’t want to be born into this fucked-up world. I didn’t want to have to experience the pain of existing in an abusive childhood, being a hypersensitive person, with no one to validate me or love me for who I was.
That was a fucked-up way to step into this world. I would’ve much preferred to stay in the bubble of the bliss zone—the space I’ve reached through deep meditations, breathwork sessions, channeling the Akashic Records, and during psychedelic journeys.
But there was a purpose.
My soul, for some damned reason, decided it needed to experience the shitshow of my childhood and spend 30 years searching for all the healing modalities.
What drove me was this inner sense, starting when I was 16, that I had no choice but to follow a spark inside me—even though it was terrifying.
That meant moving to San Francisco and Europe; performing (as a chronically shy girl); singing (scariest thing in the world); moving back to San Francisco (leaving my child in France); then moving, based on an email, to Hawaii (having never been there, and now my son is 30 hours of travel away- and I still see him 4x/ yr).
And all the times something in me has said, “Hey, you see that sign?”
It keeps popping up—whether it's a longing, a jealousy (meaning it touches something in me that I want or could become), a simple recurring thought, or a theme that keeps resurfacing.
I’ve learned to follow the signs. Even when the signs only gave me one step forward, with a giant foggy zone ahead, I moved forward.
This is important:
I didn’t move forward based solely on willpower. I moved hand in hand with a higher inner force—guidance.
I call it the Universe sometimes.
When my soul is going in the direction it needs to, the whole Universe collaborates. We become a team and doors open. But the problem is, it doesn’t give you a game plan or a business strategy. It just says, Trust. Figure out what you want or need to do, and we’ll handle the how.
Once again, I find myself in that space: trusting and sitting in the unknown.
Kealakekua Bay (Pathway to the Gods) on the 19.5-degree acts as a "stargate portal," This location is believed to be predisposed to "inter-dimensional experience" and facilitates the flow of "light codes" into Earth's energetic matrix.
As you may know, I tend to have sagas with roommates.
I’ve had some awesome ones and some challenging ones—or let’s just say, not a good fit.
The last one left a month ago. The room is empty, and my one current roommate—who is fabulous—has decided she’s either moving out of state or wants a private apartment closer to work.
Something in me doesn’t want to search for new roommates. I know that the overhead of this big house in Hawaii is more than my budget comfortably allows, but something is saying: Don’t block the space.
So here I am, sitting with the potential of forking out large sums of money each month to hold down a house that is basically perfect for a small retreat center.
Retreat center. Hmm.
I go to breathwork on Wednesdays with a small group of friends. It’s the most excruciatingly slow breathwork ever. For someone like me—highly efficient with time and a brain that whirls at record speed—I have to schedule moments to slow down, to stop the wheels from turning.
This is one of those moments. Ninety minutes, where 70 of them consist of just four movements and long, slow breathing.
We literally spend 15 minutes in one pose.
My brain goes everywhere, and in the beginning, it felt like torture. Just when I think the posture is about to switch, the facilitator says, “Ten more breaths here.” And I have to drop back into slowing down and being with the moment.
We finish with my favorite part, which usually arrives just as my brain has finally slowed down and I’m in a deep theta state (the state right before sleep).
We do a Wim Hof series—four rounds of hyperventilation breaths (deep, rapid inhales and exhales), followed by breath holds: 1 min 30, 2 mins, 2 min 30 secs, and finally 3 mins.
That last breath hold can only happen if my entire being is in a state of total relaxation and surrender. I feel my whole body vibrating. I take off into space, into the galaxies for the first 2 minutes or so, then the body starts calling me back—Hey, I need to breathe.
The carbon dioxide sensation rises up my legs—it’s uncomfortable. It’s literally your body signaling, Hey, you need to breathe now or you might die.
As a freediver, I know I won’t die. I have more air in me. And at worst, I’ll pass out—but I’m on the floor, and my body would naturally breathe if needed.
So you just be with the sensation rising through the body—equanimity. Every cell is screaming, “AIR!!!” and all you do is say, “Yeah, it’s ok.” And finally, the beep beep beep of the timer. It’s over. Deep inhale. Hold. Relax.
The end is the best.
Fifteen minutes just lying there in corpse pose—shavasana. And that’s when I get the downloads. (Downloads = woo-woo slang for receiving divine guidance via message, feeling, vision, etc.)
This time, I got the download that I was ready to offer a retreat.
Not just any retreat—a super woo-woo one.
And they gave me the name: “Spiritual Journey into the Heart of Awakening.”
I’m supposed to teach those who are ready to elevate and step into their place in the world how to channel their own higher wisdom—Akashic Records, guides—and use their body as a compass to recognize truth.
I’m also supposed to teach them how to manifest.
These are the tools I’ve been secretly using in the background—tools that have guided and held me through all the tumultuous, adventurous unknowns of my life.
The Akashic Records (a channeled space) is where I go whenever I need higher guidance. I don’t call on tarot cards, a psychic, or a guru—I have direct access.
Of course, it’s a methodology. You have to get out of your own way to receive information untainted by your mind—and that’s what I’m meant to teach people to do.
So here we are.
My house is supposed to become the container for week-long deep-dive immersions to support the next generation of people who want to be in direct communication with a higher source.
I know why I’m here now.
The purpose is becoming clearer every day. And as I trust it, the Universe reveals the next steps—though it sure asks a lot of my human need to control things.
Control may be one of my issues. I like to know what’s happening, use my capacities to create. But I also know that leaning on the support of the Universe has allowed so many miracles to happen—everything from aligned opportunities to free power tools and parking spots.
I just have to ask, create a clear intention, and let go of control.
It’s been a ride—and it’s not over.
So, all this to say:
The retreat is coming up. Three times this year, for a maximum of 10 participants.
If you feel called—or know someone who might—click the link below.
Upcoming retreat on the Big Island, HI
Sept. 15-21 Limited to 10 spots. Reserve Yours Now.
And if it’s not your thing, and you're still in the phase of weeding through what’s holding you back from simply managing life—I also offer 1:1 retreats focused on nervous system regulation, trauma, and releasing patterns:
Click to learn more 👆🏽
And beyond what I offer, I invite you to listen to your own inner wisdom.
Sometimes that’s a hunch, a body sensation, a feeling in your heart, or the same theme showing up multiple times in a short period.
Follow the signs.
They show up—if you’re ready to see them.
Wishing you well on our shared journey toward elevation and human potential.
Blessings from Hawaii
(on a hill from my home overlooking the ocean, high enough to avoid potential tsunamis.)